my girlies

Dear God,

I feel so happy that u are coming for me even as i run to You. i feel that you love me and care for me and frankly that is enuff to make me happy but i guess i also desire human love. when things dont go the way i want or hope, i just feel sorta resigned or rested in You that whatever happens i know You will make it alright You know? Im just sad to quarrel sometimes even tho i get pissed. my emotions are in a mess. on one hand im really happy to experience you again today and on the other, fights make me tired and sad. so i guess im feeling both now which numbs each other

i met mei en and joan today and we talked about love, guys, us, and God. im really glad to talk to both of them. its nice to be with my girlfriends and just hang out and talk about life. i will miss mei when she is gone and i hope she makes the right decision. life is so unpredictable and now i feel like im just cruising along. dont know what im feeling as well. a bit stoned, a bit laggy, abit tired. yet hopeful for something better

after mei en left, joan shared with me lotsa things which made me realise what a strong presence God can have on our lives. i wish He could impact me like that everyday coz it really sounds wonderful and i believe it.

So Lord Father, today i ask that if you want me to lead worship for You, that you will present me with the opportunity. Just show me something

If Joan asks and you fulfill, then fulfill what you want for me as well

She prayed for me before we went our separate ways and i teared a lil. i think it was a sortof relief to be able to see my friend caring for me as a sister in Christ and seeing how Jesus works thru her to see me as a person and to encourage me. im really thankful for a friend like her even tho we arent exactly the closest of friends.

got home and received a burfdae card from church. signed by pastor peter our new pastor. he wrote a verse for me. normally i just get a happy birthday word. but this time i got a verse. Seek first His Kingdom and righteousness and all these things shall be added to you

Thank you God. I want to be able to pray~